Pickles from My Mind

To My Future Boyfriend Whom I Know Is Totally Awesome

Love letters to future boyfriend - Rachel McAdams - The NotebookNow I know gazillions of people have already done this – I mean, writing a letter to their future boyfriends/ girlfriends or even themselves. And I’m jumping on the bandwagon because… well, I feel that my future beaux, whoever he may turn out to be, should know the following things. So here it goes:

To My Future Boyfriend Whom I Know Is Totally Awesome,

Hi! You may think I’m crazy for doing this, writing a letter even before we’ve met, or perhaps I already have, I just don’t know it’s you yet. I just wanted to say thanks for thinking that my craziness is adorable. I promise to act normal and sane – well, MOST of the time, anyway. Haha. 😀

By the way, I don’t know if you know yet but I think you’re brave. People – guys mostly – have never gone this far into my life before. And if you’re my boyfriend, well then you must have climbed that REALLY BIG wall I’ve built for myself.

You may be wondering why you had to climb that wall in the first place. Well, to tell you the truth, I didn’t build it on purpose. Lots of things happened to me since I was young and the bricks just kept falling into place over the years, one on top of the other, until it became a massive wall.

It was supposed to protect me from harm. I didn’t realize it would be so hard to break through it afterwards. And even I, myself, could not do it.

Over the years, I did not welcome even the slightest potential of love into my life. I refused it. I turned away from it. I cringed at the thought of it. Simply because I didn’t believe it. I didn’t believe love could ever happen to me. And so if something like it showed up in my life, I considered it a fake. I always expect it to end, sooner or later. And so I thought: what’s the point of taking a chance, right? So I never did take a chance.

Do you know that song “The Only Exception” by Paramore (you probably know that they’re my favorite band) ? Well, the first time I heard it on the radio, it brought me to tears. I guess it’s because the lyrics spoke so much to me. Or should I say, about me?  

Don’t get me wrong, I can love whole-heartedly. I love my family and friends very much. But even the closest friends I have, well, I shut them out of my life sometimes. I can’t even say they know me that well because I keep this happy and bubbly facade when I’m with them. They tell me their secrets and I keep them to a safe and deep place. But I keep my own secrets deeper.

Sometimes when I’m alone, I wonder why my friends like me. Do you wonder like I wonder, too? I don’t know. Anywaaaay. What I’m trying to say is, when it comes to relationships, I’m chicken shit.

But you’re here. Closer than anyone has ever been. So that means you must be very brave. Which makes me very brave. Brave enough to take a chance.  🙂

And because of that, I’m telling you the following things to help you understand. To help you stick around. To help you stay in my life even if I’m pushing you away.

These might be too much for you to handle, so take a deep breath. 😉

1.  I might say hurtful things, but know that I don’t mean them.

Sometimes I do this to get my point across. But I really do not mean it. Whenever I do this, I would very likely feel guilty and hurt (for hurting you) afterwards.

2. I might ignore you sometimes.

But it doesn’t mean you don’t mean anything to me.

Mostly, it’s because I need Letters to Boyfriendmy alone time. You know how you must keep a horse on a long leash? Well, that’s me. I’m a horse. Please let me run every now and then and don’t keep me tied in a tight rope.  Rest assured, I will do the same for you. 🙂

3. Please don’t lie to me.

I hate liars because being lied to makes me feel insulted – like I’m stupid or something.  If you did something bad, just tell me. Please don’t add insult to the injury. Chances are, I’d still love you. 😉

4. Please be patient with me.

I really am not a Princess sort of girl who’s always poised, prim and proper. I try to act like an elegant lady, but it’s hard when my personality tells me to do crazy stuff like dance (most likely, the “Nini Dance”. Haha) in the middle of the street out of  nowhere or say the damnest things because I can. Please tolerate my silliness. Thank you. :-*

5. Please try to love my family and friends.

Because I love them so much.

6.  Please let me hang out with you and your guy friends.

I’m not saying you have to take me to every game or boys night out or whatever you guys do. I just want to get to know the people that make you happy. So that I would know how to make you happy.

7. It’s easy to make me happy.

I don’t really mind if you take me to the most expensive restaurant or simply bring me ice cream. I wasn’t raised in a luxurious home with a lavish lifestyle. I was raised to appreciate even the littlest things. So if you surprise me with peanuts or kwek-kwek or anything, that would surely bring a smile on my face. It would feel nice to receive the occasional bouquet of flowers, though. *Wink *Wink.

8. Forgive me if I have guy crushes.Adam Levine and Girlfriend - Letters to Future Boyfriend

Most likely, these are celebrity guy crushes. So you don’t have to worry about that. You’re still the sexiest thing on Earth. And Adam Levine probably doesn’t know I exist. 😉

9. I love intelligent conversations.

I’m not saying we have to talk about the Periodic Table, Rene Descartes or Global Warming. That’s what classrooms are for, right? Lol.  😀

I’m just saying, I hope that despite my silliness, we can also talk about stuff that make sense. Like your dreams and my dreams. Or why people act the way they do. And I hope you don’t get intimidated if I quote things and theories I’ve read in books and magazines. And I hope you can share some things you know, too. 🙂

Lastly, I reveal the ugliest part of me:

10. I always try to say goodbye.

I’m sorry, I can’t help it. But because of what happened in the past, there’s an ugly voice inside that keeps on telling me to “dump you before you dump me.” Please, please don’t believe me all the time. It’s the ugly voice talking to you, not me.

With these revelations, I hope you got to understand me more. Most men would probably run for the hills if they found out these things about a girl.

But I hope you’re not most menI hope you’ll still stick around after this. I hope you understand that it wasn’t very easy for me to let you into my life in the first place and entrust you with my heart.

But I hope that if you do go away, you will remember that I was willing to jump with you. And that’s something I never have done. So that must mean one thing: You mean a lot more to me than you will ever know.

P.S.

This is all getting kind of dramatic, so on a parting note, I just wanna say, while I was writing this line, I did something unforgivable: I farted. HAHAHAHA :-p

Oh. And by the way, you are awesome😉

                                                       Love,

Nini, Your Future Girlfriend.

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drunk woman - psychology
Pickles from My Mind

The Psychology of Drunkenness

The Psychology of Drunkenness - How I Met Your mother HIMYM

Let’s talk about drunk people, alcohol and… well, anything to do with getting wasted.

It’s easy to spot drunk people. Look around you on any Friday night and you’re sure to find one just swaying (or crawling) their way home and singing “Why, why, why Delilah“.

Usually though, drunkenness spreads like a virus among the human race on special days like Christmas, New Year, Halloween and on occasions like birthdays, graduation parties – hell, even Holy Week!

But over the years, we, the slightly more intelligent species among the creatures that belong in the Class Mammalia, (Yes, I said “slightly”. Haha.) have invented more reasons to get wasted even on perfectly ordinary days.

Let me list down 10 of the gazillion reasons people use to get drunk:

1. Just got dumped by girlfriend/ boyfriend.

2. Just lost job.

3. Just got paid.throwing up on toilet - drunk

4. It’s the first day of class.

5. It’s the last day of class.

6. I just got my credit card bill.

7. It’s raining outside.

8. My annoying neighbor won’t shut up.

9. I’m bored.

10. I don’t really have an excuse, I just wanna get drunk.

Drinking can be fun, especially if you have good friends with you and the conversation, the laughter and the jokes just keep rolling. Not so sure about the morning after a drunken night though, but I hear a lot of people today exist because of it. LOL.

Whether my mom knows this or not (Though I really think she already does. If she doesn’t, I know she won’t freak out if she finds out), but I DO drink.

I started drinking when I was 18. Pretty late, considering most kids in the Philippines could easily buy a bottle of Red Horse from the store and chug it down like it was breastmilk , as the laws of under-age drinking and smoking in our country are pretty flimsy.

Anyway, so I have been drinking for quite some time now.   There was a point in my life when I was hitting the bars with my friends 2-3 times a week. (Tiny voice says: Please don’t judge me 😀 )

And though I’m way past my “sleep-all-day, party-all-night” phase, I have learned quite a few things. My experience with drunkenness is not vast, but from what I have observed over the years, there are different kinds of drunk people and I have carefully categorized them for the sake of this blogpost.

As to whether or not the following info could be useful to anyone, I have no idea.

1. The Mad Chatter

Mad Chatters lose their communication filters when they get drunk. Ask them anything and they’ll tell you what’s on their mind with no hesitation. They can even tell you their deepest, darkest secrets, including their deep-seated feelings, which they would never reveal if they were sober.

2. The Hulk

The Hulk, we all know, is a famous Marvel character who likes smashing things and has a serious anger management issue. Sober, Hulks are probably harmless and reasonable people. Drunk, Hulks could be very dangerous. They are easily angered and are often the ringleaders of bar fights.

3. The Englishman

The Englishman are those people who turn out to be fluent English-speakers when they’re drunk. Their grammar and pronunciation become flawless. Their words are nothing short of poetic and they seem to develop an accent when they’re intoxicated with alcohol.

4. The Laugh Slutdrunk guy laughing laugh slut

The Laugh Slut is a term I got from an episode of How I Met Your Mother. These are the kind of people who would laugh at just about anything or anyone. They will laugh at your lamest jokes, the smallest change of expression in your face and even in perfectly mundane things like a chair, a strand of hair or a plate of potato chips.

5. The Hornet

You might know The Hornet as a kind of insect. But I’m talking about a different Hornet. These are people who can’t keep their sexual urges to themselves. When single Hornets find someone attractive, they would probably hook up with him/her regardless of physical appearance or emotional attachment. Hornets who are taken, however, simply find an excuse to go somewhere private with their boyfriends/ girlfriends.

6. The Peacemaker

The Peacemaker are those drunk people who are at peace with the world. When the alcohol kicks in, they find tranquility in their lives and they just go with the flow. They barely talk, are easily agreeable to anything and usually sit quietly in one corner until they fall asleep.

7. The Emodrunk girl crying

The Emo are those drunk people who cry out of nowhere, with no particular reason under the influence of alcohol. Sometimes, there’s a logic to their crying but most of the time you will be puzzled how random party songs suddenly make them burst into tears.

Drunkenness or Alcohol intoxication occurs when a high level of ethanol (alcohol) enters a human being’s blood stream. It is a world-renowned un-inhibitor.

Vocabulary time:

  • Un-inhibitor – came from the root word inhibit, which means
1. To restrain, hinder, arrest, or check an action, impulse, etc.
2. To prohibit or forbid.
3. To consciously or unconsciously suppress or restrain psychologically or sociologically unacceptable behavior. (Dictionary.com)
And the un in un-inhibitor is a prefix which means to “undo” (Ok. I just made that up. Haha.)
Nevertheless, the overall meaning of un-inhibitor is to FREE all restraints. Pull out all the stops between proper brain usage and idiocy.

So do not be surprised my friend, why after 2 shots of Tequila, you find yourself standing on top of the bar counter screaming: “I LOVE YOU, (Insert name here)! GOD, I LOVE YOU. WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME BACK?!”

Best case scenario: You will get kicked out of the bar. Worst case scenario: Your best friend recorded a video of you and uploaded it on Youtube.

So before you get drunk, kids, always remember the following:

1. Only drink with people whom you can trust.

2. If you’re bringing a car, always have a designated driver (someone sober who can drive you home).

3. Do not “drink and dial”. That means do not call your ex after getting drunk.

4. And lastly, answer this poll question:

Let me close this blogpost by saying that drinking is fun when you know you’ve handled drunkenness superbly. That means, while drunk, you didn’t get hurt, didn’t hurt anyone, didn’t get thrown into jail or did something that you will regret for the rest of your life.

Remember: If you go out to get drunk, please take your brain with you.

CIAO! 😀

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Uncategorized

Loneliness

girl in bed lonely loneliness

 

Quiet. How you love the quiet.

Night. How you love the night.

You call during these hours.

Hours when today and tomorrow are on a tug of war.

An indecent affair when the world is asleep &  far.

You climb on my windowsill and lay down with me in the few moments,

Those moments between consciousness and sleep.

You grip me – my hands, my body, so weak.

 

And I succumb to you, sneaky little shadow.

I fall into you with the brightest of my tomorrows.

For in these hours, these quiet alone hours.

When today and tomorrow are nearest eachother,

A grown woman with the wildest of dreams.

Shrink to be the little child with the fiercest of fears.

 

Quiet, how you love the quiet.

And you never come through the front door step.

You must sneak into the room, in the middle of the night.

For an indecent affair with you, is all that is right.

 

– by Nini Realista Garado

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fat girl versus mean girls
Pickles from My Mind

I Hate You ‘Coz You’re Fat

Let me start this post by enumerating why people hate fat people:

1. They’re so big that when you sit next to them in the bus, half your ass-cheeks would be hanging off the seat.

2. They’re so big that by the time they pass by in front of your TV and sit down, you’d most likely miss a 1-hour episode of Next Top Model.

3. They’re so big that… you just love to hate them.

4. And you love to hate them because… other people love hating them too.

“It’s a circle. A mean cycle.” – Paramore

What that quote means? Oh, nothing. I just like throwing lines from my favorite band’s songs randomly. LOL

Anyway, if you had ever experienced being a fat, 10-year-old girl who got spat on the face by a boy in her class, before she grew up to be a smart, talented, funny, beautiful and awesome human being (Ehem! Haha), then you’d probably asked yourself this question at least once in your life:

Fat People what's wrong with being fat

Well, I can tell you one reason why it’s wrong to be fat:

You could die very, very early. You could have a heart attack, diabetes, stroke or Cancer.

But I’m talking about real, seriously fat people here. In other words, Obese people.

Obesity (noun)

a medical condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to the extent that it may have an adverse effect on health, leading to reduced life expectancy and/or increased health problems.

real, officially and clinically FAT PERSON is someone whose Body Mass Index/BMI (Height + Weight) is waaaay beyond what’s healthy.

So that answers it, right? It’s wrong to be fat because it’s unhealthy!

But that doesn’t explain why fat people get teased, bullied or ridiculed so much as if they don’t have feelings. Like they aren’t real human beings.

Dumb-ass guy says: “Pigs don’t have feelings.”

I say: “Yeah, and so does your balls, right? –  So can I kick it?”

FATTIE VERSUS SKINNY

 Over the years, our concept of fat and skinny have changed, evolved and to be honest – it has become vague. People today, have a problem in understanding/identifying what’s really fat and what’s not.

Look at this comparative photo of a Barbie Doll from the 90’s and today’s Barbie Doll:

Barbie Doll - Now & Then

50 years ago, this is how we defined “fat” people:

fat people

50 years ago, this is how we defined “sexy” people:

marilyn moroe size 14

If you don’t recognize her, that’s Marilyn Monroe. An actress, comedienne and the most desired sex symbol during the 50’s to 60’s. Oh, and she was a size 14 (Which means she probably had a 32 -inch waistline).


Today, however, size 14 belongs to the fattie department.
Proof?

Plus size model size 14

Size 14 models who look like this, are called “PLUS-SIZED MODELS” today. And this is how we, (i-Pad sporting, Facebook-drooling people) see “sexy” today:

skinny bitch

If you don’t see women like this in magazine covers everyday, then I’m a dinosaur!

FAT GIRL VERSUS THE MEAN GIRLS

 fat girl versus mean girlsThe media is a big “influencer” of  the society. It tells us what to wear, where to go, who to idolize… And often, the media sets unrealistic standards of beauty.

Millions of girls freak out when they see even a little bit of cellulite or belly fat. And they resort to extreme measures just to keep up with the standards – diet pills, excessive exercising, self-starvation.

Could we blame the media for this? Yes, actually, we can.

Heck, the media’s been brainwashing us with billions of dollars worth of advertising lies geared to make us feel bad about ourselves for centuries!:

“Oh, your skin’s dry, buy this”.

“Your hair’s dull, buy this”.

“You must be lonely, buy this”.

“What? you hate your life? Buy this”.

The media puts so much emphasis on being thin and/or pretty, it’s no wonder why even teenage girls’ celebrity role models develop eating disorders (Demi Lovato, Ashlee Simpson, Mary-Kate Olsen, Nicole Richie – to mention a few). The media is truly a powerful thing. So powerful, it can become destructive.

How many chick flicks have you watched that doesn’t involve girls calling eachother “fat” or “ugly” or “fugly (fat+ugly)”? Don’t get me wrong, I love chick flicks because they’re funny. Hell, I even quote lines from “Mean Girls” to my friends. But sometimes I realize how twisted it seems, how these movies condition our minds to consider these vicious words as funny instead of hurtful.

meangirls - Regina George is Flawless. One time she punched me in the face

"Regina George is Flawless. One time she punched me in the face... It was AWESOME!" - Hahaha.

Because in real life, being called “fat” or “ugly” in a room full of girls IS hurtful. But often times,we don’t care if we call people names. Because we’d rather be Regina George than that girl who buys super jumbo-sized tampons. We’d rather sit with the cold, shiny, hard “Plastics” during lunch rather than be with the Asian Nerds or the Art Freaks. (Please watch “Mean Girls” if you don’t get it ;-p )

During a child’s early years of development (1 to 7 years old), they learn many things.

Including the concept of good and bad, wrong and right and yes, beautiful and ugly. But think about this for a while – what if we never knew all these?

What if we never knew what fat or skinny was? 

We’d probably see more regular-looking girls on the covers of Vogue magazine.

What if we never called eachother names or say mean things to eachother?

We’d probably have lower teen suicide rates.

 

 

J.K. Rowling, the author of Harry Potter & one of my favorite authors of all time once said this in an interview:

“Is fat really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat‘ worse than ‘vindictive‘, ‘jealous‘, ‘shallow‘, ‘vain‘, ‘boring‘ or ‘cruel‘? Not to me.” 

She even added: “Girls don’t just simply hate their bodies, we teach them to.”

Truth is, we only take in what society teaches us. We absorb what is taught us. And what we see everyday, what’s constantly being repeated to us, sooner or later, becomes a part of us.

When I found JK Rowling’s words on the internet, I suddenly realized that this particular line from “Mean Girls” actually makes sense:

“I don’t hate you ’cause you’re fat. You’re fat because I hate you.” 

WE make people fat. WE make people ugly. WE make ourselves hate eachother. It’s US. It’s all within US. We are the ones who choose what to call, how to see and how to treat people!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH BEING FAT? 

And I mean, REALLY!

I tell you what’s wrong with being fat  – NOTHING.

And I say this because I have been there. I was the fat girl. Hell, I might even still be the fat girl!

But it didn’t affect the way I was or am today. It didn’t affect my intelligence, or my ballsy-ness or my talents. It made me the woman that I am today. The sleep-all-day-and-write-a-blog-post-all-night kinda girl (It’s 7:00AM, BTW) 😉

To girls all over the world:Barbie doll and woman

Having cellulite or  belly fat doesn’t make you less of a person. Now, more than ever, I believe that. I know when you look in that mirror, there will be times all you could see are the areas that could use a little liposuction or botox.

I tell you, don’t dwell on these little imperfections. I have been there. And there’s nothing worst that you can do to yourself than to wish yourself away… To wish you were someone else. Because that’s when insecurity all begins.

Try to listen to yourself rather than believe in everything those glossy magazines tell you. Don’t make self-depreciation a habit between you and your girlfriends (“I hate my calves!”, “My pores are huge!”, “I’ve got man-shoulders!”)

Lastly, acknowledge your physical imperfections. Embrace them. It takes a whole less effort to accept yourself rather than trying to change yourself.

And the next time someone points out that your thighs are as huge as an Anaconda, instead of crying about it in the bathroom- nod a little bit, turn around and then laugh it all away 🙂

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Pickles from My Mind

So You Think You’re Cinderella

When should a girl stop believing in fairytales?

a cinderella-story

"A Cinderella Story" starring Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray

When I was younger, my mom read me stories about Princes, Princesses, White horses and castles before I went to sleep. I had a book as thick as an Encyclopedia that had fairytales in it (unfortunately it was “borrowed” by our neighbor – and by “borrow”, I mean stolen WITH our consent. Lol). When she read me those stories, I knew that the world was bigger.

I remember me, my big sister and cousin talking, picking out our favorite among the “Queen Bee” Disney Princesses – Snow White, Cinderella, Belle (Beauty and the Beast) and Aurora (Sleeping Beauty).

I picked Snow White. Simply because they both picked Cinderella. And I didn’t wanna jump on the bandwagon.

But everyone knows every girl wants a Cinderella story.

Unfortunately (or should it be “fortunately”?), not every girl grows out of the fairy tale phase.

Some girls grow up and date and find guys who kiss them and sweep them off their feet.

But not every guy rides a White horse and takes them to a castle. And the girl gets disappointed. See: Taylor Swift.

But is it really a guy’s fault if he displays qualities that are so un-Prince Charming? Is it really their fault if they don’t fit into a girl’s idea of a man?

Some of the common things girls complain about guys are the following:

a cinderella story - smelly guy

Ever heard of taking a bath?

1. When a guy smells like he just crawled out of a dumpster.

2. When a guy memorizes his teammates’ cellphone numbers but can’t remember his girlfriend’s last name.

3. When a guy tells his girl he’s at home when really, he’s at a strip club.

4. When a guy gets mad if HIS girl goes to a men’s strip club.

5. When a guy blows all his money in playing DOTA Poker.

(Not every girl would agree with me on this list but I’m sure they would agree with number 1 :-p )

To a girl who believes in fairytales, she would imagine her guy to be someone who would take her to ride a little boat by the river where he would quote her sweet Shakespeare or Hemingway lines.

To a girl who believes in fairytales, she would imagine her guy to throw pebbles at her window to wake her up in the middle of the night and then sing her favorite love song.

To a girl who believes in fairytales, she would want her love life to be perfect.

But that’s the thing with fairytales – they’re too perfect for reality.

Guys are humans, just like us. They screw up. They fall in love and fall out of love. And did I mention that some of them smell really bad? (Lol. Peace! 😀 )

Hell, even real Princes screw up.

Look at Prince Charles – he married a divinely beautiful woman who had a pure heart (Princess Diana) and he still managed to look away and take her for granted.

A Cinderella Story - Princess Diana, Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles

Princess Diana, Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles

But that’s because all those years he was married to Princess Diana, he was still in love with his ex, Camilla Parker Bowles. See? There’s no perfect Prince Charming out there.

So if your boyfriend has bad body odor, don’t dump him instantly. Buy him a deodorant and see what happens.

Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with hoping for a fairytale relationship but girls should not rely on it.

a cinderella story - Woman about to sneeze

The distorted, about-to-sneeze facial expression

Because the more you expect for something grand to happen, the more hurt you’re going to be when you find your expectations are not being met.

You know that feeling when you’re on the verge of sneezing but then it goes away just in time to give you that distorted about-to-sneeze expression on your face? Yeah, that’s called disappointment.

Guys don’t like it when girls expect them to be like Romeo or — for lack of a better example — Edward-Sparkly-Cullen. Just like girls hate it when guys expect them to have perfect Megan Fox-ish bodies.

Some women, however, wake up one morning and find their dreams coming true. But this doesn’t usually

a cinderella story - kate middleton and prince william

Sometimes, in the middle of our ordinary existence, life gives us a fairytale. 🙂

happen through the efforts of one guy. Actually, real-life fairytales happen through the efforts of two people who are in love.

Prince William and Kate Middleton should not have ended up together if  Kate didn’t show Prince William what he was missing by letting her go. And there would be no Royal Wedding of the Century if Prince William didn’t get his act together in time to show Kate that he was worth taking back.

But real-life fairytales aren’t about getting married in the Westminster Abbey and kissing on the balcony of the Buckingham Palace (although we wish we could!), it’s about going to the extremes, beating all odds and going against the tide to be with that one person who makes you feel like you’re the lead character from a romantic movie, even though you’re only standing in your living room with your fluffy slippers on.

I, personally, dream of having a love story fit for Disney books. But after dreaming, I wake up, face life and accept that I’m no Disney Princess. I’m not Cinderella.

And I understand that when I fall in love, I should not compare our relationship to a fairytale book. I get that this is reality – not everything is perfect.

But I know that in the middle of my ordinary existence, there will be times where life gives me short and swift moments similar to a fairytale. But that’s all there is – short moments. And when these moments happen, I should cherish every second.

And I have faith that someday, I’d be lucky enough to meet a normal, 100% ordinary human guy who would make me feel extraordinary, fairytale-like feelings.

And just hope that he doesn’t sparkle 😉

a cinderella story Edward Cullen Sparkle

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virgins talking dirty
Pickles from My Mind

When Virgins Talk Dirty

NOTE: The following post contains explicit words. Read with an open mind. CHAR.

virgins talking dirty

There are two kinds of virgins:

1. Those who are afraid of sex.

2. Those who are ready for sex but are waiting/ haven’t found the right person to do it with yet.

unicorn woman

Warning: If you see this unicorn woman, call animal control. Oh, and also, submit yourself to a psych ward. 🙂

The world is really changing. People rush into many things, including sex. And although perverts/nymphos some people might define VIRGINS as “Mythical, non-existent creatures”, they DO still exist. Yes – they do exist. And no – they are NOT unicorns.

Why are virgins, virgins?  Some people find out you’re a virgin and they think you’re some weird girl who sits at the back of the class, eating her hair. While others find out you’re a virgin and they automatically assume you live in the convent with the nuns. Although, many boys, when they find out you’re a virgin, they pretend they are, too and propose you do it together for the first time.

A brilliant friend of mine once said that virginity is subjective.

How does one really measure/ define/ tell if a person is a virgin?

virgin /vir·gin/ (vir´jin)

1. A person who has not had sexual intercourse.

2. A laboratory animal that has been kept free from sexual intercourse.

3. A person who has not had vaginal intercourse (for women)

4. A woman whose hymen is still intact.

So, virgins are not mythical creatures, but are laboratory animals?! Gee. Thanks, Medical-Dictionary.com.

In Greek, it’s called “parthenos”. So when you and your friends talk about your V-card in front of your parents, try using that word.

“Hey, parthenos. What happened to you last night?”

“Oh, nothing to be curious about. I still live in parthenoville.

“Seriously? When you gonna lose your parthenobility, weirdo?”

HAHA. Corny. 🙂

Anyways, when I was in High School, our teacher told us that a woman only loses her virginity when she loses her hymen.

The hymen is a membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. It’s the door to the castle. The lid on the cup. The fairy that guards the entrance to the enchanted cave.

While our teacher told us that there are many ways a woman could lose her hymen besides sex (like doing physically strenuous activities), I also read that not all women possess a hymen. Just like not all people were born with two arms and legs.

If the possession of the big H is a way to tell if a woman is a virgin, then not all women were born virgins!

I found another definition of the word:

Virgin – A sexually naive person.

So is a person who has not had sexual intercourse but is mentally knowledgeable about sex, un-virgin?  Then maybe my brilliant friend is right – virginity IS subjective. Is virginity only in the mind? If a person watches porn, does that de-virginize him/ her?

When virgins talk dirty, when their jokes are greener than a virgin forest, does that disqualify him/ her in the virgin parade?

I know a lot of people who wish they never had sex so young. They wished they waited for the right person – maybe even marriage – to have sex. But how do you know if a person IS the right person?

Is it right to keep waiting? When does the waiting end? Life would have been

Will You Still Love Me in the Morning - Click - Adam Sandler and Kate Beckinsale

"Will you still love me in the morning?" "Forever and ever, Babe." - CLICK (starring Adam Sandler and Kate Beckinsale)

easier if there was always some sure sign that you’re with the right person. That it’s okay to lose your virginity to him/ her because he/ she will stick around in the morning. And the morning after that. And the morning after that.

My friend’s teacher in the University of the Philippines told them something really funny. He said: “class… I have one advice to you. NEVER die a virgin.”

His point was – sex is a pleasure like no other and that every person must experience it at least once in their life.

But what if after the pleasure, you get attached to someone unattached to you?

All I can say is, sex is a complicated topic. A lot of people would describe it contradictingly. Like:

Sex is good and bad.

Sex is heaven and hell.

Sex takes you really high but you come down really low afterwards.

Sex is E=MC2

Sex is Pofinasoegnasdghweoi123u40eut9e8rgpe9hgwegubhshosjgnisdvn.

It’s THAT complicated.

It ain’t good. It ain’t bad. It’s a gray matter.

_

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Paparazzi.

Paparazzi

Lady Gaga

It was past 11:00 PM. I was on the way home, enjoying the few quiet moments I have while riding in the jeepney.

When we arrived somewhere in Matina, a group of drunk men hopped in the jeep and polluted the quiet moment of commute that I was having with their loud and slightly slurred conversations. At first, I ignored these men.

But then I heard the word “Bangs” and I knew from that moment on, their attention was directed upon me. I tried to pretend like I didn’t hear them but one drunk guy suddenly bursted out singing “Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eeeh. Twenty-one“. A line from a K-Pop group’s song. (Koreans are famous for their edgy haircuts, of course. Including hairstyles with bangs.)

One of them said: * “Si Bangs man na.

Another said: * “Dili bai, si Sandara Park.”

While another added: * “Haha. Dili oy. Sandawa Park.”

Knowing that the best counter-action for attacks by attention-seekers like these men was pretending to be deaf, mute and blind, I tried my best to ignore them.

But these guys started to get on my nerves when one of them pulled out his digital camera and started taking pictures!

What the heck was this guy playing at? Was he really taking my picture? Why would he do that?!

For a half a second, I felt confused. But then again, I remembered that there’s only one particular reason why drunk people do crazy stuff like this: it’s because they’re drunk.

I almost cracked my neck for trying to turn my face away, attempting to get out from the view of the camera. The guy tried to steal two or three snapshots of my face, until I couldn’t help it and took refuge and hid my face behind my hair. (Yes, having bangs DOES have its benefits.)

One of those drunkards must have realized that I was uncomfortable about what the other guy was doing and said: “Buang, ayaw pataka ug picture sa babae, brad. Ayaw pag ana brad.” (Are you crazy? Don’t just take a girl’s picture like that, bro. Don’t do that.)

Thankfully, the drunk guy with the camera and a pea-sized brain, turned to a group of women on the street instead and clicked away. They were laughing their heads off, looking at the pictures a few minutes later. (I was hoping the guy wasn’t able to take a good picture of me). I wanted so much to get out of the jeepney. I felt embarrassed. And somehow, I felt like my privacy was invaded (Sounds char but it’s true).

Maybe some people would feel flattered by it. But I didn’t. It was as though someone was peaking into a hole in the wall of my bathroom while I’m taking a shower. I felt embarrassed. Or rather, humiliated.

This incident is so ironic since it was only last week when I took this picture out of sheer boredom:

Paparazzi shot

A self-made Paparazzi shot

Obviously, the intention of this picture was to make it look like I was hiding my face from a paparazzi’s camera.

But I took this pic to entertain myself. Little did I know that this being-photographed-by-a-paparazzi-fantasy would actually manifest in real life. Well, sort of.

I’m not saying the drunk guy was taking my picture because I’m famous or anything. I’m just saying that the feeling that I had when he was trying to photograph made me was not a good feeling. And it made me realize why these people sometimes hide from the invasive lens of a camera (even though they’d look silly from doing it):

Paparazzi shot of Rupert Grint

Rupert Grint (from Harry Potter)

sharpay evans - paparazzi

Ahley Tisdale (from Hellcats & High School Musical)

paparazzi shot lindsay lohan

Lindsay Lohan

mileycyrus-paparazzi

Miley Cyrus

Shia

Shia LeBouff (Transformers)

The reason why celebs like to hide form the paparazzi is because being photographed by someone that you don’t know and don’t trust, without your permission can make you feel like you were being STRIPPED NAKED against your will.

If you were in my shoes, when that man attacked me with his camera, would you have felt flattered or would you have felt like this?…

Courtney Cox Arquette (Cougar Town, F.R.I.E.N.D.S)

Demi Lovato

Kirsten Dunst (Spiderman)

Tell me how you would feel in the comments below.

Thanks!

~ Nini WannaBe

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